


The Perfect Pet

by hollyand



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Cats, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Newspapers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-31 20:38:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10907046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollyand/pseuds/hollyand
Summary: Anders wants a new cat – and what Anders wants, Anders gets, as far as Garrett Hawke is concerned.There’s only one problem: the particular pet that Anders wants has been made infamous in the Kirkwall press as a local terror… especially in the Gallows. What’s a Champion to do?





	The Perfect Pet

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mikkeneko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mikkeneko/gifts).



> Giveaway prize fic for the @teamblueandangry blog on Tumblr for Mikkeneko, who requested "Handers interacting with pets - could be something as simple as Handers gets a new cat, but if you're inspired it could also be other things." I decided to go with your first suggestion, and hope you like it...? Sorry it's so, so, so late! x 
> 
> Also inspired by this picture from a Tumblr post:

**_CAT GOES ON RAMPAGE IN GALLOWS, 19 TEMPLARS INJURED_ **

**_Knight-Commander Meredith: Local moggy is ‘a dangerous menace’_ **

_A LOCAL CAT allegedly went on the rampage in the Gallows this week, leaving nineteen templars injured, the Kirkwall Express has learned._

_The orange-and-white tabby, who was brought in by one of the templars as a stray, was reported to have ‘suddenly snapped’ and inexplicably attacked, leaving resident Circle healers working overtime to deal with bites and deep scratches. Our reporter understands that the infirmary’s supply of poultices has been depleted._

_Knight-Commander Meredith Stannard told this paper that the cat was ‘a dangerous menace’ that needed to be removed from the Gallows at once._

_‘The cat has been detained while we investigate it for any signs of blood magic or possession,’ the Knight-Commander said. ‘We have found nothing so far, but I have decided to keep the cat in quarantine until it proves safe to release it.’_

_Knight-Captain Cullen, who was one of the templars who bravely managed to capture and restrain the animal, admitted that the templar who had brought in the cat has now been reprimanded. ‘The Gallows now has a strict “no pets” policy,’ he added. ‘It’s likely that the cat is a stray, but if anyone knows whom it might belong to, please contact the Gallows for its safe return to its owner as a matter of urgency.’_

   

‘Hawke. Love. Have you seen this?’

‘Hmmm?’ Garrett Hawke looked up from his morning toast at the folded newspaper Anders was pushing across the table. ‘Anders, what are you doing reading the local tabloid?’

‘Varric left this here last night,’ Anders replied, with a slight shrug. ‘But Hawke. This article. Read it.’

Hawke glanced at the column that Anders was pointing at, and almost choked on his toast. ‘Anders. That story cannot possibly be real.’

‘I want that cat, Hawke.’

Hawke glanced up at his lover’s serious expression. ‘I don’t know, Anders. If the cat really is as violent and aggressive as this article says, I worry about the dog.’

‘I don’t care.’ Anders’s mouth was set in a grim line, and his honey-brown eyes were determined. ‘I want that cat.’

Garrett leaned back in his chair and tried to laugh, but Anders glared at him so fiercely that he hastily turned it into a cough. ‘Love,’ he started. ‘I am more than happy to get you another cat, if you really want one? Merrill says there are kittens in the Lowtown market…’

‘I don’t want any old cat,’ Anders insisted. ‘I want that one.’

Hawke sighed; it was far too early in the morning to be dealing with something like this – his muscles still ached from fighting the drakes in Hubert’s Bone Pit again yesterday – but if Anders really wanted that cat (and could not be dissuaded), then that meant that somehow, Hawke had to work something out.

‘OK, love,’ Hawke finally said. ‘I’ll see what I can do.’ 

*** 

‘Maker’s breath. Are you _sure_ about this, Champion?’

‘Indeed I am, Knight-Captain. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.’

Cullen stared at Hawke, searching the other man’s amber eyes for any sign that he was lying, and found none. ‘Hawke,’ he began, palms flat on his desk as he leant forward. ‘You didn’t strike me as the sort of man to own such a pet, I must admit.’

‘Well,’ said Hawke, shrugging. ‘Has anyone else come forward to claim the cat?’

‘None so far. Given that the incident in the Gallows was memorable enough to make the local gossip rag, however, I expect that’s hardly surprising.’

‘So, if no one else has stepped forward to claim the cat,’ Hawke pressed, ‘I don’t see why it would be a problem if I do. I expect Meredith will want the animal taken off your hands, if nothing else.’

‘You have a point there,’ Cullen agreed. He exhaled, and stood up straight. ‘Very well, Champion, I will inform the Knight-Commander. We will… endeavour to assist you in removing the cat from the Gallows.’  

*** 

It took three templars, Knight-Captain Cullen and Hawke himself to remove the cat from the Gallows. Somehow the cat had escaped its cage in the dungeon, and had to be put back, albeit with a lot of scratching and angry yowling.

Hawke was unhappy with the idea of putting the cat in a cage rather than a smaller aerated box, but was informed that that was the best choice the Order had. Judging by the way the cat reached around the metal bars of its cage and swiped anyone who came near with extended claws, Hawke wasn’t sure that it was true either.

But – if Anders really wanted this cat, then it was up to Hawke to get him this cat. Somehow.

Hawke sighed as he wheeled the cat’s cage out of the Gallows, ignoring the sting of the cat-scratches on his forearms. Nobody seemed to know how the feline had escaped its cage in the first place; but Hawke hoped that it wouldn’t escape before he’d got it home.

The cat continued to meow noisily and swipe at Hawke when he got too near, a vicious look on its orange face all the while; yet despite its behaviour, Hawke couldn’t help wondering if the feline had been traumatised in some way. He couldn’t think of any other reason why the cat would be behaving like this.

That said, the templars seemed to be treating the cat as well as they could, given the circumstances – and it hadn’t sounded like the animal had been mistreated before it attacked. Maybe the cat just didn’t like the way they’d behaved towards the mages in the Gallows, and reacted accordingly? Hawke snorted at the thought.

Somehow, Hawke managed to get the cat back to his estate in Hightown without any trouble; and as he wheeled the cage into the grand reception room, the mabari took one look at it and fled, howling, while Sandal came over to help.

‘Enchantment?’ he offered, holding out his hand.

‘Don’t go near it,’ Hawke warned Sandal as the boy peered at the cage with a curious expression on his face. ‘Just… just get Anders.’

Sandal nodded, and left. Hawke let out a long loud exhale as he paced nervously up and down, although he was pleased to see that the cat seemed to have no intent of escaping and clawing his face. The cat stared at him through narrowed eyes, and Hawke could feel the cat silently judging him.

‘Enchantment!’ Sandal announced with a flourish, and Hawke looked up to see a very puzzled-looking Anders descending the stairs.

‘Hawke!’ Anders started, and then, ‘Love. What’s that?’

Hawke shrugged. ‘A cat, I suppose.’ He looked down at the scratches on his forearms, the evidence of the battle to get the cat from the Gallows to his home, and winced.

‘I know that,’ Anders said, striding across the room to the cage, where the cat was now emitting a low growl in Hawke’s direction, ‘but why? Is it hurt?’ He furrowed his brow in concern. ‘Does the kitty need healing?’

‘Anders,’ Hawke began, eyeing the cat carefully as it continued to hiss at him, fur on end, poised as if ready to leap out of its cage and attack.

‘Yes, love?’

‘You remember the cat in the papers recently?’

‘The one from the Gallows? Yes. Why?’

‘Well…’ Hawke rubbed his forearm gently. ‘I… may have offered to take the cat off the Templar Order’s hands.’

Happiness suffused Anders’s expression at last. ‘Oh, love,’ he said, face radiating joy, ‘and this is the cat who attacked all those templars?’

‘I wouldn’t be too quick to thank me,’ muttered Hawke, holding out his scratched arms. ‘Look what it did. It’s a miracle I managed to get the cat back here without incident. Cullen had to draft in three templars to help restrain the creature – we all got scratched. Two of the templars even got bitten, and had to go to the Circle apothecary as I was leaving.’

But this only served to delight Anders even more. ‘Oh, love,’ Anders cried, flinging his arms around his boyfriend, ‘thank you so much! This is the best gift you could give me, I swear.’

‘Wait!’ Hawke called as Anders broke off the hug and dived to open the cage, but it was too late. The cage door swung open and Anders stuck his head inside, making kissing sounds at a visibly angry cat.

‘Who’s a good kitty?’ Anders cooed, as the cat hissed at him. ‘You are! Yes, you are! Those templars got what they deserved, didn’t they? Yes they did!’

To Hawke’s utter astonishment, the cat appeared to calm down and relax at the sound of Anders’s honeyed tones; and before long, Anders was scooping the striped tabby into his hands and out of the cage, and the cat settled into him, purring loudly as Anders cuddled and stroked him.

It was official: Anders had the magic touch with this cat as well as his patients.

‘How–?’ asked Hawke, mouth agape, before he shook his head. ‘Never mind. I – I guess I’m glad you like your present.’

‘He’s _perfect_ ,’ Anders purred, as contentedly as the cat in his arms. ‘Thank you, love. I know how hard it was to get him here. I appreciate it.’

Hawke grinned, the stinging of his scratches quite forgotten. If it made Anders happy, it was all worth it.

‘No worries,’ Hawke smiled, watching fondly as Anders and his cat continued to bask in their mutual love and admiration. ‘I can see he’s the perfect pet for you.’

**Author's Note:**

> Come and say hello at [hollyand-writes.tumblr.com](http://hollyand-writes.tumblr.com)!


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